Grind and Whine

Grind and Whine
Epic Whining on a Global Gaming Scale

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

League of Ordinary Gentlemen...

It may be Winter outside but here in Mini Gamer's world its a different season; Not bound by Winter's cold harsh winds of pale and bleak nor the promises of Spring's early thaws. Nope... Here, it is early Charsuag! This year's Warmahordemachine's league;
just opened up at one of my LGS, ToyWiz. I'm especially charged up as this is my favorite type of gaming. We get to add some poisonality into our games, connect them into a narative. In short- We get to tell stories...

My story last night was of a Faction divided. It was my Convergence versus my buddy's Convergence. It was a Tale of Two TWIN Casters as we both ran our WiP Syntherion lists. We went spell for spell, free upkeep vs free upkeep, feat against mirrored feat. Both near identical 15 point lists met in an inevitable circle of metal on metal carnage...
If you look at opposite ends of the circle you can see the Brothers Synth facing off.
But despite 2 Technical Superiority feats, 2 successful Resurrections and Hot Shot and Synergy in mega-abundance I narrowly managed to get evil imposter Synth in a very very bad grind;
You see, painted models really do perform better! Victory MINE! And not since William Shatner fought his evil twin in Star Trek's The Enemy Within was such a tense and terse battle fought!
Okay, so we didn't quite go where no man went before but we did have some gear grinding fun!

There were lots of league games going on and here's the proof of the exciting and EXPLOSIVE start to Scars of Caen!
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen indeed...

From the other side of the table...
Eric J

Sunday, March 2, 2014

If Sergio Leone played miniature games...

Malifaux... I do love this game and want to bring it back to life in my area. I first got into the game in late 2011. I was drawn to its quirkiness and steampunkgothiczombiehorror universe. The instant draw for me was my love of the Spaghetti Western. I grew up watching these gun slinging cheese fests in my Uncle Wally's movie theater while stuffing my pie hole with scores of White Castle murder burgers. Yeah, I was privileged!!

So when I saw these guys;
It was a no brainer! These guys walked right out of a Sergio Leone classic!

But what really sold it for me was the narrative possibilities and active story telling of Malifaux. So here is my first Batrep, posted way back in late 2011 or so.Hoping this may inspire someone to take a serious look at the game.

                                                          Blood on the Sun
The ruins of the abandoned town were evidence of a time when prosperity reigned. The buildings, or what was left of them were not the ramshackle wormwood huts so common this far from the Breach. But brick and mortar structures built to stand for generations.

So much for that dream...

It did mean however that the chest left out in the dust of the once well traveled street might contain a valuable yield. Soulstones most likely. But then this was Malifaux, when was anything what it seemed. Perdita Ortega sighed resolutely as she unfastened the holster cord to allow for a faster draw just in case....

"Nino! What do you see?"

"Something or someone's coming." Said Nino, the most diminutive of Papa Loco's children, "Not sure how many."

"Well, take that cannon of yours and climb up to what's left of that window. You can cover us from there." Said Perdita, pushing her long, flowing hair back behind her,"Let me know how many."

"To hell with this, I ain't waiting for them to get here, I'm going for the chest." Francisco was never a patient man.

Then, from behind came a hooting and a hollering that could mean only one thing...

"Dios Mio," Said Perdita,"How did you get out this time Papa?"

"How do I get out? I am Papa LOCO! No prison can hold me!" Papa laughed the laugh that helped earn him his nickname then pulled out a stick of high explosive, "Now Mi Corazon, who do we come to kill?"

Before Perdita could answer Nino shouted down from his perch, "Looks like five or six.... Two women up front with very long swords and three others also with swords. They move fast Sister..."

Santiago pulled both his pistols and started to ask if Nino had a shot but suddenly, impossibly, one of the women, now revealed to be twins was there in the midst of them!

Steel flashed catching the sun momentarily blinding the family of gunfighters. Before any could react Francisco was bleeding from more than a single wound.

As fast as the attack was what happened next seemed to happen even faster. Santiago barely sidestepped an attack from the same warrior woman as he stepped back to avoid the blur of the blade. While not wholly unscathed the Pistolero managed to escape further onslaught and took off running toward the chest.

Perdita grimaced, determined to show these... Outcasts what a Woman of The Guild could do!

Moving with a signature swiftness she took aim, "Nino, the other one is coming... SHOOT HER!!"

Her pistol spat twice dealing hurt and pain to this bitch who dared hurt her family.

Francisco bore down on the tall swords woman shooting her near point blank. He smiled despite the blood he felt leaking through his wounds as he watched her fall.

Nino felt more than saw the other three warriors as they advanced but could not focus on them. He knew there was something very dangerous about them but with a steel resolve he shook off the feeling and took careful aim at the fallen warriors twin.

The Repeater clapped cannon like loud dealing a mortal wound to the sword wielding warrior. She collapsed in a heap but this fight was not yet over.

Papa Loco rounded a ruined building but before he could throw one of his boom sticks the other three assassins appeared as if from nowhere.

Francisco moved to the chest trying desperately to drag it to safety but the assassins whom they knew only as Ronin were on the attack!

Santiago moved to intercept the Ronin moving toward his brother but was no match for this combat master. He went down clutching his pistols but slowed her down none the less.

Nino managed to blast off another shot wounding the second but the third made it to Papa Loco, wounding him and then pressing the attack to Nino.

Francisco fought hard to protect the chest but fell under the razor sharp blade of the stealth assassin. Her smile at the small victory was little more than a gash in her face and short lived as well.

Perdita, ever the picture of calm resolution advanced and shot with aim as sure as the sunrise. A sunrise the assassin would not live to see.

Papa Loco meanwhile went into suicide mode dropping stick after stick dealing scathing damage till he himself was taken down but not before he lit the last of his dynamite taking one of the Ronin with him.

Perdita had enough. The long distance impersonal kill feel of a bullet wouldn't do here, with arm outstretched the gunfighter feared throughout Malifaux put the gun to the head of the Ronin.

"Nobody blows up my Papa and lives!"

The assassin never heard the shot that took her head clean off the blood spray making it hard for Perdita to see.

"Sister!" Nino called out as he broke open the chest, "Nuthing but a bunch of pretty rocks... Make a nice paper weight but that's about it."

Perdita looked up at the blazing sun through the red in her eyes but felt no warmth.

"Blood on the sun," She said. "Just more blood on the sun..."

This was my second game. I used the Ortega box set vs The Victorias w/ totem and 3 Ronin. I had an absolute blast!





From the other side of the table...
Eric J

What's old is new again...

Been a while... Stuff has been happening, models getting painted, games being played, win/lose rage quitting etc... etc... etc...

But when I got THIS guy;

I was inspired to start up the old blog. One old Bastard deserves another...

The Goreshade redux rocks and has a great sense of humor about him what with a dice game based mini.... rolling dice. I'll be working on him for a bit. But I'm embroiled in the immediacy of the East Coast Rumble, details for this awesome weekend of Warmahordes wackiness can be found here; http://museonminis.com/forums/index.php?topic=3213.0

In other news I have taken a serious plunge into Flames of War and, get ready as I'm totally going to toot my own horn and brag obnoxiously; I COMPLETELY DOMINATED THE ORDO MALLEUS EARLY WAR ESCALATION LEAGUE held at ToyWiz in Rockland County! My first ever Flames "campaign" and I kicked gamer ass with my Brit Desert Rats shown here at their 1250 point level;

I finished them up at 1550 with another tank platoon. It was a great league shepherded by Troy "Panzer" Baker. great job indeed...
But I still haven't been given my winner's medal... WTF?!

Bringing us all up to date, I'm working on my Convergence to bring to the EC Rumble.Here are a couple of early pics and these models have been finished since but I haven't taken new pics and being a lazy 'ol bastard didn't feel like doing it now;
Syntherion the Art Deco Caster;

and Cipher, who doubles as a refrigerator during lulls in the fighting;

I'll be sincerely trying to keep up the blog and keep it as cantankerous as is my usual. If you don't know what cantankerous means then look it up illiterates! As I opened with new pGore it's only fitting that I close with the OG pGore, my first and still favorite caster. Because if there's one thing I know about, its Old Bastards...


See you on the other side of the table...

Eric J

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Steamrolled... An event report!!

So after a night of drunken gaming fun with my crew of Basement Jacks here at the house I figured I'd have a nice relaxed day of rest and relaxation to clear my fuzzy head. But mid-breakfast I get a call from the guys, "Can Eric come out to play?" There was a 25 point Journeyman Steamroller going on at The Gameroom and my company was requested. Bastards. I was all set to relax. So I grabbed one other bastard, Goreshade and the rest of my Cryxx and jumped into my buddy's car that was definitely on an episode of Hoarders.

I was a bit shagged out from the shennanigans of the night before, old school hip hop, AC/DC and 10 guys in my basement drinking and playing Warmahordemachine. Game rooms a nice store in a nice mall with a decent crowd. There were some familiar faces there already laying out their forces when we arrived. S0me I was glad to see while others I would just as soon scrape off the sole of my boots. They being dweebs that caused quite a bit o' drama at the last steamroller. So my mood was turning somewhat sour. I was steeling myself for a not-so-good day...

But the dice Gods were smiling and rolled box cars for me. My first round was against Friker, about the nicest guy you could ever want to sit opposite at a gaming table.

I was running pGore, Deathjack, Slayer, Tartarus, Mech Thralls and two Pistol Wraiths. 25 points but I was misssing my Machine Wraiths to allow for the higher point cost Deathjack.

So Batrep in an instant: He was playing Legion, I think with the 3 headed Hydra guy. The mission for all 3 games was Moshpit. He went first and moved forward. He did some Animus stuff and buffing and that's all. My turn I run up throw Mage blight and not much else.

His turn he advances some more and doesn't do much but all his force is in the pit and he has one 12 man unit that I knew was going to be a bitch to kill. I knew I had to get nasty fast. So I advance and pop my feat. Between the Bane Thralls, and Pistol Wraiths I kill 3 of his infantry but HE KEEPS REPLACING THEM WITH INCUBI!! That means I have to kill all his crap TWICE! I also manage to kill a couple ogrun but wiff on his solo.
He retaliates by killing all my Bane Thralls But nothing else.

Tartarus slams in killing 3 more but one gets replaced by an incubi who then kills Tartarus!!! What's worse is that I have no Banes left so I can't make any more from the dead to add to the unit.

The DJ hits his infantry and crushes a couple poor saps then I soulgate him out to safety.

Bad... bad... move.

Next turn he rushes in with his Warlock and essentially clears out my controlling models. Because I 'gated the DJ out of the pit I had no models left in there to hold. Victory Legion. The score I think should have been 14 to 3 but we screwed something up and I wrote down 1 for me and 4 for him.... I don't know. But it was a fun game. I also found out that the rules for Mosh Pit allowed for jacks to control but we thought only models with a Cmnd of 1 or more could do that and it turned out my Slayer SHOULD have kept me in the game but we played it wrong.

Friker was the eventual winner of the steamoller.

Next game vs Arthur's Khador. Nice enough guy with a fairly tough list. Let me just say this; TIME MANAGEMENT!!!!oh, and slow play really peeves me. Yeah that's right. He killed mechs with his mortar and brought my DJ down to 4 boxes with his "Bears", who are HEINOUS! I slammed in with my Banes who killed some Riflemen infantry. Which led me to my pivotal turn.

I had a fully "jacked" Slayer, Tartarus and Mechs ready to slam into the Butcher. I was going to butcher the butcher for the win. It was all set up and I put my hand on the Slayer to charge him in when of course what do I hear? "DICE DOWN!"

AAAAARRRrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhh......................................... He won 9 to 5 the difference being the points for my Bane Thrall unit summoned as pGore's feat. Why I should end up forfeiting points for what every other caster gets with no backsided penalty vexes me deeply...

Last game was vs the TO. I was fighting it out for last place. Its always good to have goals...

I was about to enter the Gates of Mordor, a dark place where few get out alive... Chris was also playing Legion but with a differere's the deal quick and dirty:
It was really a fun game and hard fought. I learned some great new moves from Chris like, Trample and Throwing. FUN! But after 3 turns he charged Goreshade with his wickedly harsh warbeast and proceeded to beat him to his knees. His last attack did 4 damage, killing Goreshade.

BUT LO AND BEHOLD.... HAHA! I,for the first time was able to sacrifice the Death Walker and bring The Bastard back!! Yeeeehaaaaaaa!

So, last turn and I'm in pretty good position. Except that I IS AN ASS! I had everything set to try and take down his Warlock and proceeded to screw up the order of activation so badly that I missed 3 opportunities to charge in and do damage. However my Deathjack charged in and inflicted heinous amounts of damage WHICH HE JUST TRANSFERRED TO HIS BEASTS....

This is where I insert another AAAAARRRRGGGgghhhhhhhhh! Another loss despite taking 13 points.

So it was a fun day of gaming despite 3 losses but there was a silver lining of sorts. I did win the coveted "Smokin' Boots" award bestowed on he who comes in dead last! Its supposed to salve the wounds. I got a store credit combined with a 15% discount so I picked up a 2 pack of the new Cryxx RipJaw Bonejacks....

Looks like Deneghra will be masking a comeback. These little beauties lock on to you keeping you stationary and half your armor in the bargain. Oh, and they have ARC NODES!

Fun....fun...fun..fun..fun...




From the other side of the table,
Eric J

Friday, September 30, 2011

Skirmixed up!

My favorite scene in Silent Hill the movie was the nurses...

How could you not want to play a game with units like this?!

Just to keep everyone calm, I'm still head over heels in regards to Warmahordes. But variety is the spice of life and bllod spattered nurses fighting Zombie Hookers is SPICEY VARIETY I can munch on!

The game is Malifaux and as I read more about it and look at the minis I get more and more intrigued.
Yeah... That's right its an undead zombie CHIHUAHUA!!!! For whom the Taco Bell tolls indeed....



"Steamvictoriahorrorwestpunk" That's the genre title for Malifaux and its super apt. Though I prefer the shorter version; Bacon Punk. Like spaghetti Westerns?
Check out Perdito, a Texican hottie gunslinger!
Like your women a bit more on the fantasy side? Here ya go....

But in all seriousness how can you not be enticed by a game that boasts a miniature called Teddy and looks like THIS:
Malifaux's universe is so diverse it allows for a tremendous variety in the miniature range. Its gaining in popularity because of this and the different take on game mechanics. Something akin to Confrontation with the cards being in a certain order and alternate activations.

Check out their site and let me know what you think....

From the other side of the table,
Eric J

Friday, September 23, 2011

It's all Ray Harryhausen's fault...

I am a child of the 50's truly, despite being born in 1960. My brother, 9 years closer to the ferryman than I used to get home circa 2am after playing some gig at whatever local blues/rock dive at which his band was booked and wake me up. It was his influence that instilled my love of Hendrix, Creem, Traffic and Procol Harum.
But a deeper more meaningful obsession was budding. One that shaped my life in many respects...
He would wake me up, egg creams and pretzel rods at the ready and flip on the TV for a double feature of Chiller Theater and Creature Feature. One of my earliest memories is of a real drive-in classic The Neanderthal Man.Relax... It was cheesy as hell but I was like seven. IT ROCKED! I went on to such classics as Invasion of the Saucermen starring Frank Gorshen, the original Joker from the 60's TV camp version of Batman. And one of my favorites to this day; The Monster that Challenged the World. I mean, giant mollusks... FRIGGIN AWESOME!
There were some amazing films in amongst the sea of B's. Howard Hawk's The Thing is still close to a perfect movie. The dialogue is still impressive in its flow.Of course the original, The Blob from 1963 was a regular Creature Feature saturday afternoon thing... Pardon the pun. And if you look at the poster you can see the start of the career of a hollywood icon; Yep, Steve McQueen. Not that I cared when I was 9 or 10. It was the playdoe goop they called the Blob that got me excited.
But I think one of my fondest memories is of 1957's 20Million Miles to Earth. A Ray Harryhausen classic. If you're not sure who he is just ask. First I'll slap you flat across your face then I'll tell you like this; He is the great grandfather of sci fi and horror movie creature special effects. The God of claymation. You may likely know him from the ORIGINAL JAson and the Argonauts.
But it was his creature in 20 Million Miles to Earth that will always stand out in my mind. So real was the creature to this 7 year old and so expressive his features that I was rooting for the beast the whole movie. I had little 7 year old tears rolling down my cheeks when, in a hail of bullets and rockets the creature falls from the Coliseum to his death...
Harryhausen's body of work is impressive and it was the base fuel for many of my games as a child. I have been able to retain that childlike wonder and imagination and try to bring that to the gaming table as well. So when my wife asks why I spend so much time ... and money... playing those silly games I simply reply,
"It's all Ray Harryhausen's fault."

Next up we'll explore some of my favorite fantasy films, or maybe reminisce about Hammer Films... Feel free to post up some of your favorites as well...

From the other side of the table,
Eric J

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Lights... Action.... Wait.... something's missing!


Played a good game today vs a buddy new to the game. 25 points of my pGore Cryxx vs his pButcher Khador. Planned to take pics and do up a proper batrep.

Remember before technology got us just short of Transporters? You know, like the ones Capt. Kirk used to planet hop in search of green skinned strippers? Well back then the only thing you could use to take pics with was a camera, an honest to goodness celluloid packed BIG (as in a pound plus) picture taker. Hang that thing around your neck and you never forgot it.

Now, we got them fancy phones what does everything including taking pictures. So of course I forget to take any photos because, of course its a PHONE!! I did however takes pics of the second game... 'cept I wasn't in the second game...HA!

We played Killzone and despite John's super newbie status we had a tough battle. We both set up the majority of our forces on my left flank but John left his unit of Widowmakers and the sniper by the right flank control zone. I was fine with that as I knew through attrition I would not be able to hold and contest both. So I hoped for a caster kill.

We both advanced but I played aggressive from the start and he played way too defensively IMHO. He deployed the Butcher behind his three Man'oWars who were behind his Kodiak and his Beast. A gridlock alert worse than any caused by a presidential visit to New York City.

I ran my Pistol Wraiths up to put some pressure on the Butcher and moved my Mech Thralls up to prep for a charge on the Man o'Wars. Both my Nightmare and Slayer were priming themselves for max damage. My beloved Machine Wraiths floated up field borne on a wind of malice.

pGore threw Shadowmancer to protect against John's ranged attacks.

John's Widowmakers killed several Mech Thralls and he threw Iron will on his jacks.

My turn I moved up the Mechs, got a Pistol Wraith in position and shot at the Butcher, missing EVERY SHOT! I took a shot with the other who also apparently left his trigger finger at home.

Like an old man at an orgy, lots of motion but just shootin' blanks...

However; both my Machine Wraiths took over BOTH HIS JACKS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

John's turn he was able to eject one wraith from the Beast. Then he moved up his Moan 'o Wars single file to get into melee with the remaining Mech Thralls and a P Wraith... It was a massacre as the "man-jacks" killed the already dead...

The butcher forgot to throw magic at the ejected M Wraith so I reunited his incorporealism with the Beast... John was not happy!

I moved up the other P Wraith shooting at the Widowmakers missing once again... AAARRrrrgghhhh!

It was krumpin' time...


After allocating focus I charged the horror known as the Nightmare into the Man o' Wars... Afterwards the Nightmare spread them on his toast... You know.... like jelly... get it...

I moved the possessed Kodiak out of the way and...

T'was then that I popped pGore's feat and brought the Bane Thralls to bear. They charged the Butcher and in an epic flurry of Weapon Master attacks did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Yup... Missed every attack.

John's turn had him eject another wraith, shoot and kill the other Pistol Wraith and then activate the Butcher. Having used up focus to eject the Wraiths he had little left for combat but enough to kill 3 Bane Thralls....

I had been given a golden opportunity and I took it...

I moved pGore up with the Deathwalker then charged Tartarus into the Butcher. Now he was at -2 to his Def, Arm and Strength....

Tartarus butchered the Butcher...

Game over! The 1 point Machine Wraiths were absolutely the MVP's of the game and a real pain in the armor for lists like John's that lacks in magic weaponry...

Aaahhhhh.... CRYXX! Love them little dead bastards...

Just wish I had that GIANT Nikon I had when I was 23...
From the other side of the table,
Eric J